Saving You
by GeekBastard23
Summary: Gibbs sometimes wondered how he could have been so stupid. How could he have let it happen when Tony was still so obviously hung up on Ziva? Gibbs/Tony Slash. Spoilers for the beginning of Season 11.
1. Part One

_A/N: So this has spoilers for 11.1 and possibly 11.2 (not that I know anything, of course, I'm just taking a guess ;) )... Hope you enjoy part 1 of this :)  
_

_Disclaimer: Don't own anything._

* * *

_**Saving You**_

Sometimes Gibbs wondered how stupid a person could get. He had known all along, had not even fooled himself into believing all of it was even for real and yet he had fallen harder than ever before – with that one big exception. That big exception was Shannon of course and for years he had refused to try to find someone to match up to her because he had simply thought it would be impossible. But now, four months after all it had begun, he was starting to wonder when exactly he had missed the obvious signs. He couldn't be without that other person, couldn't not call him up at the weirdest times just to check whether he was alright.  
Gibbs knew that he shouldn't get attached like that. Hell, they weren't even in a relationship as far as he knew. So what had him getting the creeps whenever he didn't know exactly where he was? Gibbs simply didn't get it and that was what scared him the most. He didn't like being out of balance like that.  
He had to end this thing before he'd go insane. Thing was, though, he didn't want to.  
He felt alive more than he had in over twenty years, he was certainly happier than ever since Shannon and Kelly had died, but he also knew he couldn't have him, not like that. There was too much baggage, there would always be too much.  
But this time it wasn't Gibbs who couldn't let go.  
Because even after seven months Tony still couldn't let go of her.

_Four months earlier_

_Gibbs looked at the man who was currently sitting on the last of the stairs down to his basement and wondered if he'd ever get back the old Tony or if he was forever lost someplace between Israel and DC. Ever since Tony, and all of them, had to say goodbye to Ziva, Tony was not the same person anymore. He was too focused on the job, on the alcohol, on Gibbs' basement. The older man would have bet that his SFA hadn't gone out, hadn't chatted up some woman or another in months. Gibbs knew that Tony had loved Ziva, probably still did, but in the end they had to part their ways. Gibbs knew that Tony was hurting; they had taken so many little steps towards each other over the last couple of months or maybe years that even Gibbs, who had mostly looked the other way, couldn't help but see the changes in Ziva and Tony's relationship. He had been sure that they were just one step away from finally breaking Rule 12 when Ziva had decided to stay in Israel for good. _

_Gibbs had watched Tony slowly but steadily fall apart for a little while before he had ordered him to follow him home after work one day. They hadn't talked much that night, had only drank some beer and even more bourbon, but it had seemed to help Tony. At least, he had shown up in his basement at least three times a week since then. Gibbs didn't mind, he had always liked Tony's company, even if it was only an echo of Tony's former self these days._

"_Do you think it'll ever get better?" Tony's quiet voice raised him from his thoughts._

_Gibbs stopped sanding for a moment and looked at his agent again, feeling his heart sink as he saw the devastated look on the other man's face._

"_Missing her, you mean?" he checked back, already knowing that the answer would be yes._

"_No," Tony shrugged and took another sip from his bourbon. "I mean yes, but not really. I'm just so tired of missing her… missing out. All my life… I've been taking care of people, trying to save them, only to find out that nobody wants it. My mom preferred to drink herself to death, the kid in Baltimore still despises me for saving him and not his baby sister… and now Ziva… she just… she just let it go, you know, after everything we've been through, she just throws it away like it… like I meant nothing to her."_

"_That's not true, DiNozzo," Gibbs replied vehemently, trying to swallow the sickening feeling in his throat at Tony's words, before he put down the sander and slowly walked towards the other man, finally sitting down next to him. "You did save her in many ways and you know that."_

"_Yeah, but in the end, it's all the same," Tony almost whispered, leaning his head against the cold wall next to him, looking so beaten that Gibbs suddenly felt the almost forgotten pull to give him a hug and never let go again. "I'm still here all alone. I mean, goddamn it, Gibbs, I tell her I love her and she still refuses to come back home with me."_

"_Maybe it still wasn't her home," Gibbs answered slowly, leaning closer towards Tony, who didn't draw back, but leaned towards him, too. "Maybe at times it felt like it, but in the end, she felt like Israel was it still. There's nothing you could have done."_

_Tony let out a pathetic attempt of a laugh before he downed the rest of his bourbon._

"_Sometimes, you know, I just wonder why I keep on doing this. Maybe nobody wants to be saved."_

_Gibbs turned to look at the younger man more closely and was momentarily caught off guard as Tony looked right back at him, his green eyes shimmering with something that Gibbs couldn't place. It wasn't devastation anymore, but certainly not hope, either._

"_I didn't mind," Gibbs finally replied, trying to give the man next to him a smile, but wasn't entirely sure whether or not the corners of his mouth even twitched._

"_Yeah, just like you wouldn't have minded if I didn't," Tony answered so defeated that Gibbs stiffened for a moment, trying to figure out where this had come from._

_Did Tony really think like that? That he'd rather be dead, br drowning in that car with Maddie than to be here now? He shook his head and then raised his hand to give him a head slap, but redirected it at the last second so that it came to a rest at Tony's neck, gently squeezing him._

"_There's nowhere I'd rather be, Tony, and I'm sorry I never said thank you. I thought you knew. I know I can always count on you no matter what and even if I sometimes don't want it, or think I don't want it, I'd rather be saved."_

_Gibbs watched Tony go red in the face and blink at him a couple of times as if he had to make sure he wasn't dreaming. The older man just shrugged, quirking up the corner of his mouth and waited for Tony to continue talking. It took a while, but finally Tony cleared his throat and then, almost unconsciously, leaned into Gibbs' hand that was still resting at his neck._

"_You mean that?"_

"_Every word, Tony," Gibbs said quietly. "You do make a difference in people's life and you've made a big difference in mine. I never trusted anyone on the job more than I trust you."_

_Tony didn't reply, but he nodded, a small smile grazing his features. Gibbs returned it with one of his own, causing Tony to subtly shake his head. He still remained silent, though, and Gibbs let him be for the moment as he busied himself with staring at his own hands. He didn't know how he could help his agent. He wanted the old Tony back and yet he did like the more open and honest version he was seeing tonight, too. Once again, he just wanted to lean closer and pull his arms around the other man in an attempt to soothe him in some way. He didn't have clue where that came from – again. Over the years, he had sometimes felt a strange pull towards the younger man, but it had always quickly disappeared again – or he had made it disappear with the help of another redhead. Now, though, it felt strangely different, though he had no idea why that was. Tony was devastated, was still in love with Ziva and there was no chance in hell, he'd reciprocated his feelings._

Wait, what? What feelings? What was going on?

_Gibbs was just about to get up to have another glass of bourbon in order to forget about that particular train of thought when Tony started to speak again, effectively keeping him in place._

"_Trust you, too," he said quietly. "With my life. Sometimes, I just wished I could forget it all. Sometimes, I just want to sit here and pretend everything is still alright and whenever I'm here with you, it still feels okay. I don't know why, it just is and maybe that's why I keep on coming here. I want things to be okay and somehow I always think you can make them, you know. I know it's stupid."_

"_I would if I could," Gibbs replied without thinking, suddenly having to fight a slightly blurry vision._

_Tony just nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. "I know," he whispered barely audible, causing Gibbs to lean in even closer now. "You're just like me. We always want to fix things… people. But maybe we just have to stop, you know? Maybe we should stop trying to fix them. Maybe we should fix ourselves for once."_

"_And how are you planning to do that?" Gibbs asked, still trying to fight the slightly overwhelming feeling of helplessness inside of him._

"_It's easy, really," Tony replied, his eyes suddenly sparkling like Gibbs hadn't seen in months. "For once I'd really like us to do exactly what we want. For instance… what would you rather be doing right now instead of sitting here playing Agony Aunt for me?"_

_Gibbs remained silent for a moment, seriously considering the question, before he realized that there was nothing he'd rather be doing than sitting here with Tony. It just felt too right._

"_Nothing," he finally - and to his own surprise - answered truthfully. "I like it when you're here…" he trailed off, unable to finish that particular thought out loud, afraid of giving himself away._

"_You like it when I'm offloading on you?" Tony checked back incredulously, his eyebrows quirking up and his lips forming a soft smile._

"_No, I mean," Gibbs replied reluctantly, cursing himself for saying that stuff earlier. "I like your company. It's good to know… there's somebody out there who… trusts me with stuff like that."_

_Tony nodded once and then turned ever so slightly, so that Gibbs wasn't able to look him into the eyes anymore. The younger man's expression had closed off somewhat and Gibbs felt a pang of sadness shoot through him as he realized that Tony had suddenly gone back to being professional Tony. In an attempt to get back the more open Tony, Gibbs cleared his throat again and then, and he really didn't know why, bumped his shoulder against the younger man's, causing him to actually look at him again._

"_What would you rather be doing, then?" Gibbs asked, resuming their earlier conversation._

"_A week ago," Tony replied slowly, "I'd have said 'be in Israel' or something, but now… I mean I still do… but I don't know. I guess it isn't so bad here… with you."_

"_Good," Gibbs just replied, feeling something warm settling in his stomach. "Come on," he then continued, trying to steer their conversation into safer waters. "You want another drink?"_

_He was about to get up to pour them some more bourbon when Tony grabbed for his arm, effectively holding him in place. He didn't let go of his arm when he had settled back down, either. Slightly confused, Gibbs turned towards Tony and realized with a start that the gloomy cloud above Tony's head seemed to have reappeared again, but something had suddenly changed. Tony was staring squarely at him at the moment as if he was searching for something. Gibbs just looked right back at him, unknowing what he was supposed to do._

"_Can you make me forget?" Tony finally said so quietly that Gibbs wasn't even sure he had understood him right._

"_How?" he replied, only realizing now that his breathing had become rather shallow all of a sudden. "More bourbon?"_

"_No," Tony shook his head as he inched closer ever so slightly. "It never helps… but maybe this will…" he trailed off and before Gibbs could do as much as blink once, he was able to feel Tony's surprisingly soft lips on his own._

_He stiffened up for a moment, not kissing him back. His mind was shouting at him to put an end to this madness, was shouting at him that Tony was drunk and would regret it in the morning, would hate him for doing it. His body, however, eventually kicked into gear and he felt himself kiss the other man back. He didn't care what it might mean, he didn't care what it could destroy. It just felt too right to stop it._

* * *

One thing had led to another that night, and even now, Gibbs had no idea how he could have let it happen - or all the other times after that. Tony was so obviously hurt and not in the right frame of mind to make a decision like that… Months and deep feelings on his side later, he still wasn't sure what they were doing. Tony never said anything, really. They met up at least twice a week, but they never really discussed the elephant in the room.  
Gibbs found himself get clingy to anything that was Tony and the younger man didn't seem to mind or at least he never complained about it, but Gibbs could see the strain slowly come back into the other man's features. It clearly wasn't working for him anymore. Gibbs knew they had to talk soon, but he was dreading the lonely nights in the basement all of a sudden, was dreading Tony not being there anymore.  
Because for once, it didn't feel like Tony was the one being let go of. It was Gibbs.


	2. Part Two

_A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews and alerts! :) I really hope you like part two of this little story, too. And I've decided to make it a three-shot because there was something in the latest episode that I really want to spin into this story, so I needed another turn xD Hope you enjoy._

* * *

_**Part Two**  
_

"I love you."

Gibbs startled out of his pre-orgasmic haze from one moment to the next, still ball-deep in Tony. He must have misheard for sure because Tony couldn't have just said that. Feeling Tony spasm beneath him as he reached his climax, Gibbs still didn't move, just stared at the younger man without even blinking. He tried to read his expression, but there was nothing but a satisfied smile on his lips. His eyes were still closed, his cheeks a bit red from the exercise. Gibbs wondered if Tony was even aware of what he had just said. He, himself, hadn't moved still and was trying to get his heartbeat back under control. As nice as it had sounded, it couldn't be true. He was fairly sure that it was one of those happened-in-the-heat-of-the-moment things, not to be taken seriously. He should probably shrug it off, get moving again and then forget about it and pretend it never happened. It wasn't a big deal, really.

It really shouldn't be a big deal – except it was. He had hoped to hear it from Tony so many times in these last couple of weeks and months, but now that it had actually happened, he didn't feel the relief settle in. It just didn't match up. Tony had gotten crankier with every day that went by, with Gibbs especially, to a point where even McGee had picked up on it. Tony had brushed it off as stress and Gibbs was pretty sure that he hadn't even lied – not really. He was stressed out and Gibbs was certain that it was because of him. Their conversations, while not being exactly long to begin with, had gotten shorter and shorter and some nights they barely made it through the door before Tony was ripping his clothes from his body. Sure, he still stayed the night, came over to Gibbs' house at least four times a week, but besides that there was nothing that had indicated that those three little words would be heard soon.

He felt Tony shift beneath him and it brought him right out of his thoughts. Tony was openly staring at him now, his cheeks even redder than before. Gibbs finally gave up and slipped out of him, moving so that he was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Knowing he should so something, say something, he finally cleared his throat and was just about to turn towards the younger man when he felt him move away from him. Gibbs sighed. Did he already regret what he had just said?

"I'm so stupid," Tony huffed, getting out of bed and looking for his clothes that lay scattered everywhere around the room. "Damn it."

Gibbs furrowed an eyebrow, still trying to process what exactly was going on. Meanwhile, Tony had finally managed to locate all of his clothes and had the door handle already in his hand when Gibbs finally got his act together.

"Why are you stupid?" he asked gruffly, causing Tony to stop short and turn around to face him again.

Gibbs was surprised to see sheer incomprehension in Tony's expression and realized that he probably looked a lot like that, too. He had no idea what was happening. He just knew that he needed it to stop, needed to see things clearly. Or as clearly as they could get lately regarding Tony and his actions.

"You know why," Tony cried out. "I shouldn't have said that. I told you I'm really good at screwing these kinds of things up. You're not the first one either. Wendy, Jeanne, even Ziva… it all comes back to me, doesn't it? Can't believe I've done it again."

"What?" Gibbs pressed out, finally getting out of bed, too, and pulling on his boxer shorts which thankfully were within reach. "What are you talking about?"

"Clearly," Tony started much quieter than before, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. "You don't feel the same way and I get it. Why should you? This was just stress relief, wasn't it? To get me out of my funk and all. I get it. Sorry I've said that… that thing. Won't happen again. Nothing will ever happen again. I'm sorry."

With that, Tony turned around and threw the door close behind him. Gibbs was still standing there, staring at the spot where he had just disappeared from. What the hell had just happened? Hadn't Tony said the thing because he was in the middle of an apparently really great orgasm? Had he really meant it? No, he couldn't have meant it. Maybe, Gibbs thought, Tony really did think he was in love with him. Maybe he really did mistake the feelings he had for Gibbs, whatever those were, for love. But Gibbs was also sure that Tony didn't feel the same way for him than he did for Ziva. Sure, he could have said the words back and could have pretended that he didn't see the shadow in Tony's eyes whenever somebody mentioned Ziva, could have pretended that Tony's feelings were clear as air and that they could have their happily ever after. But Gibbs had pretended too much already throughout his life. Had pretended not to cry every time he went back to the corps and away from Shannon and later Kelly, had pretended to love all these other women that came after them. He simply couldn't do it anymore. He wanted something real and at that moment Tony wasn't real to him, no matter how much he wanted him to be. So yeah, maybe not saying anything to those three little words had been the best decision, though not a conscious one, of his life.

Yeah, it hurt like a bitch, but it didn't matter that he had longed to hear those words, had longed to _say_ those words. It was a clean cut, he'd live with it, he'd save himself the heart break. He'd talk to Tony at work, make sure he knew that this had no impact on their relationship at work and that he was still welcome to talk. It was clean and simple. Yeah, Gibbs could live with that.

He let out a sigh and then picked up his clothes to put them in the hamper. It was best for both of them to break this off now before this put an even bigger strain on them. It had been good – very good – while it lasted, but it was over now. Gibbs would deal with that and so would Tony eventually. They had gone through too much together to let something like this pull them apart for too long. They'd survive.

He stepped into the bathroom and then the shower, hoping the water would make things even clearer and would cleanse him. As he waited for the water to warm up though, he noticed for the first time that Tony's dried cum was still sticking to his stomach. And he noticed another thing, too, as he was still standing right beside the spray of water that had long turned hot.  
He wasn't quite ready to wash it off just yet.


	3. Part Three

**A/N:**Thanks so much for your reviews, guys! Totally made my day :) So, last part of this story. Hope you like it! :)

* * *

**Part Three:**

Two weeks later, Gibbs wasn't sure whether to punch someone and get rid of parts of his anger or just bury his pride and talk to Tony. The younger man had been nothing but professional these last couple of days. He'd never let anyone see that there might be something wrong with him. At times he had that mask so well in place that even Gibbs couldn't help but believe him. Maybe, these three little words had actually been a slip-up and they didn't mean anything to his senior agent. But whenever he caught the guy unawares, he could see the strain in his features and on some level, Gibbs was satisfied about it. It was wrong, so wrong and he knew it, but yet he couldn't help it. Let the man taste his own medicine for a while and all, but then Gibbs realized that he wasn't being fair. Tony hadn't done anything wrong. He'd told Gibbs how he felt, or how he thought he felt and it had actually been Gibbs who had basically let him go.

Gibbs sat up straighter in his chair, trying not to look at Tony across the bullpen and failing. He hadn't looked at it that way before, but he'd done exactly what Tony had been afraid of all those months ago. He had been let go again and even though Gibbs hadn't intended to do that, he hadn't stop him from walking out of his bedroom and his personal life.

Gibbs let out a sigh, trying to come up with a way to make it up to the other man when Tony suddenly looked up and straight into his eyes for the first time in weeks. Gibbs felt every coherent thought leave his mind as he stared right back at him. He didn't know how long they had been sitting there like that when McGee finally cleared his throat louder than strictly necessary, making them both jump. They turned to look at McGee at the same time, effectively breaking their moment for the time being. Tim just shrugged, slightly red in the face, before he trained his eyes on the computer screen in front of him. Gibbs sighed again and looked back at Tony for a moment, but the younger man wasn't staring at him anymore and was once again occupied with a piece of paper on his desk.

Gibbs finally did the same, opening up a folder and trying to focus back on work, but his mind was on anything but the case. He'd have to talk to him soon. He didn't know what he wanted to tell him, didn't know if he would even be willing to. All he knew was that he hadn't been that imbalanced in years, hadn't felt the need to touch someone like this in decades. He needed this torture to end.

Later that night, Gibbs gave himself a pep talk right outside Tony's apartment. He knew he needed to talk to Tony, just to make sure he knew that he hadn't let him go. He needed him to know that he did take him seriously and didn't think Tony was stupid for thinking he was in love with him. He had no idea how he was supposed to do all of that without giving himself away and without talking a lot, but he knew it needed to be done. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to knock for a long time.

When he was finally about to do it, the door opened from the inside and Tony stood there, leaning against the doorframe.

"Thought I'd save you the trouble of knocking," he joked, but his eyes were looking rather sadly at him, so Gibbs just nodded, wondering if the younger man had known he'd been there all along.

It didn't really matter much though, so he walked past Tony and then awkwardly stood in the middle of his living room, sparing Kate, the goldfish, a quick glance. Tony finally gestured him to sit down on his couch and Gibbs followed suit and was relieved when the younger man sat down right next to him. They weren't actually touching, but he hadn't kept a safe distance either and Gibbs took it as a good sign for once. However, they remained silent for a while and Gibbs didn't know how to start the conversation as Tony seemed to be content with waiting him out for the first time in his life.

"Look, Tony," Gibbs finally started when he couldn't stand the silence anymore. "I'm sorry."

The younger man sat up a bit straighter, apparently slightly startled, before he leaned back again, an indifferent mask on his face.

"What for exactly?" he finally pressed out, not looking at the older man. "For showing up here in the middle of the night? For not talking to me the last couple of days? Or for starting this whole thing in the first place?"

Gibbs let out a sigh and then turned in order to be able to look at him more closely. He seemed tired and drained and Gibbs suddenly realized that he had looked like that for weeks, as if he hadn't slept more than three hours every night. Remorse crept up his spine and he wanted more than ever to make it alright again. If he only knew how.

"I'm sorry for not talking to you when you… left my house two weeks ago. I should've."

"Ya think?" Tony replied sarcastically. "About what, though? How stupid I was to tell you how I felt?"

"No," Gibbs all but cried out, startling the other man. More quietly he continued. "I shouldn't have let you go like that. It's not your fault you thought you were… in love… or whatever."

God, why was this so hard to say? Right, feelings. Gibbs hated talking about feelings. Especially when they were his.

"It's not my fault I thought I was in love?" Tony cried out, getting up from the couch and starting to pace around the living room. "What do you mean I _thought_?"

"Come on, Tony," Gibbs replied, feeling his stomach sink. "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't, Gibbs," Tony was almost shouting now. "I don't know what you mean. Sometimes you have to open your damn mouth for people to know what goes on in that head of yours."

"Tony," Gibbs started again, running a hand over his face. "You know you don't love me. You're still in love with Ziva."

Tony stopped walking and finally looked at Gibbs again with a look at pure disbelief on his face.

"What kind of shit have you been smoking?"

"W-what?" Gibbs replied. "Don't deny it, DiNozzo," he finally said when Tony made no move whatsoever. "You were still in love with her when this thing between us started. Whatever you thought has developed between us isn't love. I'm just your substitute."

"My what?" Tony replied, disbelief written all over his face before his expression changed and actually softened a bit. "You really think…?" he started, shaking his head as he fixed Gibbs with a look that he couldn't identify. "You damn fool."

Tony sat down next to Gibbs and then shook his head again. When he continued talking, his voice had softened the tiniest bit. "You goddamn fool," Tony repeated, letting out a pathetic attempt of a laugh. "What did Ziva tell you why she stayed in Israel?"

"What has that to do with anything?" Gibbs replied, not tracking what Tony was zeroing in on. He was getting more confused with every second that ticked by.

"Everything, Gibbs. Just, what did she say?"

"That she wanted to move on, trying to find out who she was outside of Mossad and NCIS."

"Did she also say why?" Tony prodded and he was now staring so intently at him that Gibbs felt slightly uncomfortable. He refused to look away though.

"No, I don't think so."

"She did it for you, Gibbs," Tony replied barely above a whisper. "She wanted to make you proud and at first I thought it'd be the end of the world for me because of everything we've been through. And then for a short moment I thought I'd just stay there with her. Move on with her, change with her. But only for a moment and you want to know why?"

Gibbs nodded, trying to sort out his thoughts. Was Tony really about to tell him what he thought he would? How had he not seen it? And why had Tony never told him that before?

"I couldn't leave all of it behind. Not for Ziva, not for anybody. It isn't only about the job, my dad or McGee and Abby. It was about you. I just didn't realize for a long time. Even when I was long back home, I didn't know I came back for you. Until that night in your basement where you… said all the right things and it suddenly clicked in my head, you know. It's been you all along. I didn't leave Israel because Ziva wanted me to, I left because I wanted to stay with you."

Gibbs gaped at him, trying to find the lies in between Tony's words, but couldn't find them. Was he really telling the truth? But why hadn't he told him before?

"Why were you so fed up with me before we… uh… broke up then?" Gibbs asked, knowing that he should have asked so many things, more important things, but his mind hadn't processed everything yet.

"Because I thought you didn't like me like that. I thought you… I mean… that I was just stress relief or something. And I went along with it because truth be told, I would've taken it. Just to be close to you. It sounds pathetic, but it's just the way it is, Gibbs."

"Why did you never say anything?" Jethro replied quietly, the truth slowly settling in that this could actually be more than sex… that it could be… love?

"Do you blame me?" Tony let out a laugh. "I did say something. I told you I loved you and I admit it wasn't exactly planned, but you reacted with breaking up with me, man. And you're wondering why I never said anything?"

"I didn't know," Gibbs started, but broke off as he saw Tony shake his head.

"I know now that you didn't know. But what I don't get is why you even started this thing with me when you were so convinced that I was in love with Ziva?"

"I don't know," Gibbs replied slowly. "I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help myself. I just… really wanted it, I guess."

"It? Me?" Tony replied somewhat surprised. "Why?"

Gibbs chuckled as he leaned back into the cushions of the couch feeling a million times better than mere minutes ago. He still had no idea where all of this was headed, but suddenly he wasn't afraid of trying anymore. So he just turned ever so slightly, only to be faced with Tony's green eyes mere inches away from him.

"You're," Gibbs finally started. "You're you. You were so devastated when you came back and at first I just wanted to help you out of your funk, but then I realized I really liked your company and all," Gibbs broke off, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, "Do I really need to tell you all of it?"

"Guess not," Tony smiled at him. "I kinda know anyway." Another smile. "But why didn't you just tell me? You know, not like, I'm in love with you or anything… just… that you appreciate me or like spending time with me. It would have made things so much easier."

"Same goes for you, doesn't it?"

Tony let out a laugh and his eyes were sparkling again and Gibbs suddenly felt thirty years younger, like when he had just realized he was in love with Shannon. It wasn't any different now and he noticed that it didn't hurt anymore. Damn, he really wanted this.

"So, uh," he finally started, feeling utterly stupid for talking like that, but Tony was right, sometimes he really needed to say things out loud. "What do we do now? Start over… or?"

"I'd like that," Tony replied, his smile broadening even more now. "Just… can you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Could you like… talk from time to time? I'm not saying you have to tell me everything that's on your mind, but just open that mouth of yours and tell me the important stuff, okay?"

"I'll try," Gibbs grinned. "You, too?"

"Yeah."

"Good, 'cause we've been fools. Both of us."

"Yup, but nothing about us has ever been easy, has it? I don't know," Tony smiled again. "I can't believe we almost messed it up because we assumed. The two of us, of all people, Jethro. You should follow your own rules, you know? We're so…"

"Hey," Gibbs cut him off, inching closer towards him. "The thing about talking more… can we start with that tomorrow?"

"Why?" Tony replied somewhat confused and it made Gibbs grin even broader now.

"Because I want to kiss you and I can't do that if you talk a mile a minute, Tony."

"Oh, okay," Tony replied, getting even closer now so that Gibbs could feel his breath on his skin. "Shutting up, Boss."

"Good boy," Gibbs just said before he leaned in and stole his lips.

He didn't know where this would lead them exactly, didn't know what all the consequences would be, but he simply didn't care. He knew that this was just _it._ It wasn't just sex, it wasn't just some replacement.

Tony was no replacement for Shannon, nor was Gibbs for Ziva. They were just them. Gibbs and Tony.

It might seem stupid, even to himself, but he really couldn't live without the other man. It might have taken them over eleven years to realize that fact, but it was just… right. And it was all that really mattered. He just wanted Tony. He wanted him to save the day, he wanted him to save him from all the edges of his mind, from all the loneliness. He wanted him to be it and as long Tony wanted all those things, too, everything would be alright. Gibbs would make sure of it.

"I love you," he whispered in between two kisses as Tony dragged him into a more comfortable position. "I love you."

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading! :) If you feel like it, leave a few words on your way out... or not xD  
_


End file.
